Thin Places begins with a moment of release. The ashes have been scattered and a storm washes them away. Jason Hawk Harris lost his mother six years ago, but the pain is still fresh.
“I’d say that the moments where I’d just lose it, those moments are now few and far between,” Harris said. “But I don’t think that that’s an effect of the grief fading, I think that’s just me learning how to live with the loss. You just learn to live with the pain and in the process your heart grows a bit.”
His album is magical. It mixes spirituality and autobiography to detail a long, painful process of making peace with death. From the unexpected but beautiful bass drop on “Jordan and the Nile” to the dancing skeletons on “White Berets,” Harris excels at using unique spiritual imagery and sounds to tell his story. The bulk of the album is autobiographical, taking the listener from a painfully awkward funeral to his finding a reason to move forward in true love. The unexpected decision to fast forward to Harris’ own death and resurrection completes a narrative that may not ever come to a satisfying conclusion and opens a window into some deeply considered spiritual beliefs.
“I love to speculate about this,” Harris said. “I think it makes sense to me that if there is an afterlife, it has to be infinite powers better than the best possible thing that occurs here on Earth. We’d get to hang out for endless hours and talk and chat and smoke and drink and wake up without a hangover.”
“Bring Out The Lillies” is a standout moment in the narrative. It captures the otherworldly awkwardness of losing a close family member and the absolute failure of comforting words and gestures to fill the void. The funeral would almost play as a comedy if not for the depth of the pain.
“Anytime I say that my mother passed, I can tell immediately if this person knows what it feels like or they don’t.” Harris said. “If they don’t, they’ll say a very well intentioned ‘I’m sorry for your loss’ and kind of talk and flop all over themselves. I appreciate it, but at the same time it’s very different if I go up to someone who’s lost a very close family member, because I’ll say ‘I’ve lost my mother’ and they’ll just go ‘Damn. Yeah.'”
“The Abyss” is about an experience relatively unique to Harris. He was able to read his mother’s journals and understand the pain that led her to the addiction that claimed his life. It could’ve easily dragged him into an emotional spiral as well, though it’s all halted by a woman’s smile and presumably love.
One of the beautiful things about Thin Places is that a grieving listener can find true connection at different points in the album. “Shine A Little Light” is experiencing loss at its most raw and destructive. “Roll” is the beginning of acceptance. “I’m Getting By” is a transition from pain to a hopeful future. “So Damn Good” is the point at which existing relationships begin to fill the spaces left by the loss. A well-chosen cover of “Keep Me In Your Heart For A While” and “White Berets” turn death into an inevitable, beautiful process.
The fact that the jubilant “White Berets” ends with a callback to the start of the album somehow works as more than just a neat ending. Grief comes in waves. You’ve made peace with death and the afterlife and then the pain hits you all over again. And while thinking about a future where your dead body joins the greatest dance party in all of eternity is a nice way to soften the fact that we’re all going to die eventually, there’s still the concern of the here and now for even the most fervent believer.
As for how to cope with death, I suspect the answer is somewhat like how Harris wrote “Jordan and the Nile” without having a clear understanding of what he was writing.
“It’s something that I’ve never really wanted to fully explain to myself,” said Harris. “I think I want to sit in the mystery of it rather than have a dedicated notion of what it means.”
Dig into the well of religion, philosophy, science or all three, and find something beautiful to hang onto, even if pinpointing the exact rationale and history behind it might dampen the magic.
Above is the full episode as aired on WUSB’s Country Pocket, including both my interview with Jason Hawk Harris and the songs we discussed, starting with Jordan and the Nile, which doesn’t have to have an exact meaning. The interview begins with the second video in the playlist. You can hear the show live every Monday at 11am on WUSB 90.1 FM or check the blog to watch it as a YouTube playlist. Visit http://www.WUSB.fm and https://jasonhawkharris.com for more.
Country Pocket 