Hannah Kaminer sings about relationships, aging, and more on Heavy on the Vine, but it’s her exploration of bargaining that’s most compelling. Describing no less than salvation as “a bargain, but a hard one,” Kaminer realizes that there are certain deals she’d be willing to make.
“Heavy on the Vine” sees Kaminer willing to bargain away almost anything for a little more time with a loved one, save for her sense of touch. Instead she comes away with a sense of frustration that she has no one to strike the deal with.
“I think that when I grew up in the church I was taught resignation and submission as a way to be a good person. But as I’ve gained a sense of agency, I think I do find myself bargaining more. It’s not always rational.”
“Broke Down Girl” is a portrait of a train wreck of a woman latching herself onto a man in a less than healthy way. “I won’t pop your bubble/if you don’t pinch me” is the closest Kaminer comes to allowing one of her bargains to play out, though any details about the man and things play out are left to the listener to imagine.
“If you’re hurting bad enough, you just want to be lied to. It’s rare that you line up with another person on that unless alcohol is involved. What I was drawn to is that we deceive ourselves just for a little while. I think a lot of relationships start out like that.”
The sense of desperation was palpable to me, but Kaminer says audience members at her gigs have had a much different reaction to the song.
“A lot of people will say ‘that song is really sexy.’ I try not to laugh. I almost want to say ‘you just told me a lot about yourself.”
Irene (It’s a Big Old World) is the lighter version of that hopeless bargaining. There’s absolutely no hope that Irene is looking up from her phone and noticing her admirer but it’s a brisk song that’s played more for laughs than anything else on the album.
Though “The Has-Been” doesn’t mention bargaining, it’s a stunning take on aging or losing steam. As a man looks in the mirror and wonders about his worth, his wife convinces him that instead of a has-been, he’s a has-been-there. It’s the type of corny word play country gold is made of and an absolutely beautiful message about support and value.
“Nostalgia can be a negative emotion but it can be a really positive one as well,” Kaminer said. “In a really sweet love story, you would have the other person to [help you] remember life how it actually was and not how you think it was on your really bad days.”
It’s exactly the opposite of “Broke Down Girl” in that there’s no fixing anyone or throwing history by the wayside. It’s a song that shows that our worth and our image should come from that history and that healing comes from a love founded in truth. The word play even reflects the idea that as our self worth weakens by seeing an aging body it the mirror it should strengthen through our list of accomplishments. It’s also the sort of hard-won solution that could never be found in a bargain.
“Wish We Could Talk” ended the album, but it seems like it’s not quite the end to the story. There’s a lot more acceptance in the lyrics than in earlier songs. In whatever dispute the song references, traumas are acknowledged and motivations are presented as reasonable. It’s rational, but it holds out hope for things to change.
For Kaminer, questioning and hoping and railing against reality is growth. It’s a step away from resignation and submission. If I were writing an album so run through with bargains and questions I think I’d end it on a note of acceptance or a plan to take some action to improve things. But that’s where I am in my life. Kaminer is documenting her own journey and she’s done a fine job of capturing her current mindset. There can be a lot of pain in asking those questions and trying to make those deals, but some worthwhile growth can be painful.
Above is the full episode as aired on WUSB’s Country Pocket, including both my interview with Hannah Kaminer and the songs we discussed, starting with Broke Down Girl, which just isn’t all that sexy. The interview begins with the second video in the playlist. You can hear the show live every Monday at 11am on WUSB 90.1 FM or check the blog to watch it as a YouTube playlist. Visit http://www.WUSB.fm and https://hannahkaminer.com for more.
Photo by Lysianne Peacock
Country Pocket 