“It was like everything I was raised to believe in and thought was true was picked up in a tornado and thrown out into a foreign land,” Stephanie Sammons said of discovering she was queer in a faith-based community. “It was a very cataclysmic event for me.”
On Time and Evolution, Sammons documents a difficult growth process that took her from evangelical in her faith, to queer and questioning, and finally back to a more healthier relationship with the Almighty. While the album is meditative, personal, and largely positive, Sammons does feel some anger toward those who took a message of love and charity and turned it into something uglier.
“The Evangelical Christians have hijacked everything,” Sammons said. “Even Christianity itself. The church, the Bible, the country. And if you don’t share their exact world view or share exactly how they think, then you’re evil and you’re going to hell. To me, that’s a message of discrimination, it’s preaching hate, and it ultimately leads to death. Physical death or the death of someone’s soul.”
Nowhere does Sammons better illustrate the dichotomy of those views than on “Billboard Sign.” In addition to detailing having to leave her family, Sammons reminds us all that the Bible has more to offer than evangelicals might seem to think. It simply has the words “Jesus Saves” written on it. It’s a brilliant reminder that the Bible is more about forgiveness for imperfections than the punishment of them. If Jesus is as described in the good book, would he not save both Sammons and her family? The disgraced preacher may well be entitled to forgiveness as well, depending on where he goes from here. The theme of the Bible, as a work of literature, is hardly the minor commands that take up a couple of sentences.
It’s a tricky song to write while still attempting to maintain a relationship with the subjects.
“I do listen to the other side, globally and within my immediate family. I don’t want conflict. Maybe this is why I put it into song. It’s my way of expressing my feelings about these things versus just having an outright heated conversation. And believe me, there are members of my family who are really gunning for that.”
“Year of the Dog” captures an interesting mix of appreciation and resentment for the people in Sammons’ life who both helped her grow, gave her a roadmap to salvation, and eventually showed her that love isn’t unconditional. It’s a useful song for queer listeners who have complicated feelings toward their family or first love. It gives you an idea of why Sammons stays in touch with her family but refuses to engage them in certain ways. She’s able to tolerate a little abuse without having her core beliefs shaken. Her relatives, too, have to take on a little discomfort to make the relationship work.
“We are all worthy of being here, Sammons said. “We are all worthy of the beliefs we have.”
“Innocence Lost” is perhaps the most affecting song on the album. It starts with the stunning image of a young Sammons shooting a bird out of a tree and suddenly having to grapple with a whole new set of emotions.
“She’s looking up at me blinking her eyes and then she dies,” Sammons recalled. “I witnessed the death of this beautiful creature and I didn’t realize the magnitude of what I had done until I saw it happen. Now I don’t care about roaches or things like that, but I realized I’m an empath, almost to a fault, and I think a lot of songwriters are.”
Sammons brilliantly describes the shame of losing her first queer relationship — the one she sold her soul for, according to her religious upbringing — before coming to terms with all of it.
“Blind faith that’s shaken by the truth/ is like seeing the stars instead of the moon,” Sammons sings. And as Sammons opens her mind, it’s clear she’s finding love and peace from realizing there are other truths out there in the universe, including hers.
Our discussion came around to recent attacks on the LGBTQ community Sammons and I are a part of from the right-wing faith communities she left. Sammons revealed that when her wife tunes into the nightly news, she leaves the room to avoid exposure to political stunts designed to inflict pain. She’s aware it’s bad, but hasn’t given up yet.
“We at least currently have the freedom to decide and be who we are,” Sammons said. “It’s not 100% safe for many people, by a long shot. But I don’t think we can give up. I think it’s destructive to individually be consumed by everything going on around us that we have no control over. It can be soul crushing.”
When Sammons asks “How will we ever mend?” on her album, it’s a question she offers no answers to. The question of her faith, however, resolved.
“Holding on to Jesus” is unlike the rest of the album in that Sammons doesn’t feature as the main character. It’s a heartwarming tale of an older married couple who get by on their faith and love in each other. Considering the album started with a song expressing doubts about both, it’s a strong message to send. Despite all the difficulties her rift with her family caused, Sammons is keeping the faith.
Above is the full episode as aired on WUSB’s Country Pocket, including both my interview with Stephanie Sammons and the songs we discussed, starting with Billboard Sign, which reflects on what should be the non-controversial statement “Jesus Loves.” The interview begins with the second video in the playlist. You can hear the show live every Monday at 11am on WUSB 90.1 FM or check the blog to watch it as a YouTube playlist. Visit http://www.WUSB.fm and https://stephaniesammons.com for more.
Country Pocket 