If tragedy and struggles make for good songwriting material, it’s no surprise that J.D. Graham’s album A Pound of Rust is stunning. It opens with the title track, fulled with confessions and unsure thoughts he’s still having in his seventh year of sobriety. It lists crimes and insecurities big and small and the terror that comes with admitting them.
“I always knew back when I made this album that this would be the first song,” Graham explained of the highly confessional first track. “I wanted the listener to know exactly who they were listening to for the entire album. I bare my entire soul.”
Leading with “A Pound of Rust” is a practice Graham has extended to his shows and even speeches in front of recovery groups.
Graham was imprisoned for a DUI that resulted in another man’s death. It was an event that sent him to prison for five years and began his journey to faith and sobriety.
“My sobriety came through my faith in Jesus,” Graham said. “My recovery program is faith-based and I also have an accountability group that I talk to at least biweekly.”
Some of the album is written from the perspective of a man still in the throws of addiction, others tell stories of users spiraling from a third person perspective. But nothing is as powerful as “Letter From My Conscience,” an extraordinary conversation between the part of Graham that hoped for better and the part that gave into temptation.
“It came easy because it was the truth,” Graham said of capturing that internal conversation. “I’m constantly evaluating my next move and the choices that I make in real time. My sobriety and my clean living, it’s not something that I just think about a couple times a day. I hold myself personally accountable for every choice I make. Looking back I had every chance to make those changes and for some reason it took a long road to make those changes.”
Graham credits his recovery to his Christian faith. He mentions religion briefly in a few songs, though he never fully dives into the topic. He very much lives his faith and his dedication to the recovery community.
“At shows I always put it out there that if anyone is struggling or needs a ride or just want to talk,” Graham said. “My phone number is on the internet. I never know who’s going to call. So I will answer my phone no matter what the number says on it because it may be some guy I met two months ago who let some of the things I was saying sink in. Maybe he’s got a couple weeks of sobriety and is thinking about picking up again. I was to be there as much as I physically can, even a stranger.”
Graham addresses loss in ways both inspired and direct. “West Virginia,” a song about two people involved in a missed connection missing each other again, is absolutely gorgeous. The story doesn’t have to be true to realize that regret and wondering what could have been with relationships he torpedoed were among the thoughts swirling through Graham’s head as he sobered up in prison.
“Her Memory” is a touching song about being haunted by loss and “Growin’ Old” is a well-written look at a man who’s seeing himself age and degrade while watching the world around him change in ways he doesn’t understand. Long time listeners will probably guess based on my politics that I don’t share Graham’s nostalgia for when public schools led students in prayer, but it’s not hard to sympathize with him as a man who is getting more out of his faith right now than any other subject he was taught. English composition probably checks in at a close second.
Luckily, the news is not all bad. Graham seems genuinely happy with how life has gone since he’s sobered up and gotten out.
“I’m a different person, so thinks I normalized back in the day make me feel uneasy now,” Graham said. “Coming out of prison, sober for the first time in my life, it’s almost like being reborn. Doing a lot of touring, I’ve been to some of these places before but I have no recollection of them. I’m seeing things that I’ve already seen before but for the first time in my life. It’s a beautiful thing.”
He’s especially happy with how well making amends has been going and the progress he’s made in relationships with his family.
“Every single one of them is better,” he said of those connections. “I had a lot of amends to make when I got out of prison. I went down the list and called them up and met up with some of them for lunch and apologized and continued my real life confessional. Now I have healthy relationships with boundaries.”
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